Sometimes you wonder if you aren’t cut out for this.
You trust and you hope and you pray, and deep down you know his plan is perfect. But the house is a mess. The kids’ needs are never-ending. You know you’re supposed to feel joy in the journey of your vocation but your heart just reflects the chaos in front of you.
You can’t remember the peace he wants you to feel.
You’re a mom raising kids who are differently-wired.
They are brilliant, imaginative, sensitive, and focused. They are also scatterbrained.
Maybe you haven’t slept in a decade.
Maybe you have an IEP meeting next week.
Maybe you worry and wonder and pray that your kiddo will do something good with the gifts she’s been given instead of falling to pieces when she launches on her own.
Maybe you feel like God made a mistake.
Mama. He didn’t.
God looked at you, he looked at your children, and he matched you in his infinite wisdom.
I know because I’ve lived your life.
I’ve seen my kids amaze teachers with their knowledge and potential but then fail out of school because they couldn’t function in a classroom.
I’ve seen my kids perform beautiful acts of service but then covered their flailing, meltdown-fueled bodies so they wouldn’t hurt anyone else.
I’ve seen my kids sprint up the stairs to go to Confession but then wrinkle their noses and say they don’t believe in God.
I know what it’s like to live a life of intense opposites, feeling like a failure when it comes to every other Catholic mom.
You are not a failure.
You are the very mother your children need. You are their first advocate, their first educator, their first spiritual director.
They love you and they are learning every day from your gentle example, even when you wish you could start over.
You don’t have to start over.
You just have to reach out your hand and shine on.
I’m a Catholic.
I’m the daughter of two Southern transplants with a Carolina soul.
I love the beach. I have a weakness for ice cream. I choose time with my family over concerts and events.
I write about the true, the good, and the beautiful, breaking down stereotypes one blog post at a time.